I had a very different blog written in my mind, then just as we were leaving the restaurant, and old man farted in Paul's face. We ended the evening in fits of giggles, falling into our dessert plates.
Today was merde. 100+ miles into a headwind in 35 degree heat. And we kept getting lost. We were supposed to do 98 miles, and when we abandoned at 8:30 we were still 10 miles shy of home. We're all knackered. Proper write up to come tomorrow, I hope. It's going to be even hotter tomorrow and we have 95 miles to cover. Hopefully along the right path.
Fingers crossed for proper wifi too. We have lots of photos to share.
The Idiots Ride Again... London to Barcelona. 30th July to 9th August. Why? Why not!
Sunday, 2 August 2015
Saturday, 1 August 2015
Day 3 - Alencon to Avoine
97.3 miles done.
Very tired. Very full. Quite drunk actually.
These are my notes for today's ride. I'll write them up tomorrow when I'm able to get the wifi working properly and can also add some photos. Theo's beginning to snore already, I can feel my sleep window narrowing by the moment.
Very tired. Very full. Quite drunk actually.
These are my notes for today's ride. I'll write them up tomorrow when I'm able to get the wifi working properly and can also add some photos. Theo's beginning to snore already, I can feel my sleep window narrowing by the moment.
Getting dropped
Lidl rage
Man on headphones
Brian swallowing
Sore bums. Proper lubrication
Best cheese story
Found the vasoline
Travelling waterfall
Hugh's self healing tart
Friday, 31 July 2015
Day 2 - Honfleur to Alencon
Another 81 miles in the bank
Having successfully crossed the channel (which feels a bit like cheating, but in not sure how else we could've done it) and more importantly escaping the four man cabin of doom, we drove around to Honfleur and set off. I'm still a bit torn about not cycling directly from Le Havre harbour, but having seen the traffic, lorries and bridges at first hand, I'm now satisfied that discretion is indeed the better part of valour.
Honfleur began with an encounter with what Paul tactfully described as tramps. They seemed quite friendly to me, and they were most confused as we tried to explain that we were cycling to Barcelona. We eventually left them to their morning and they toddled off with their Lidl carrier bags. Maybe Paul was right.
Theo left us to seek out food and entertainment and we went directly up a hill that nearly claimed OB. Thankfully he made it got the top. OB has had a tough two days, but has declared himself over the worst of it and that he's only getting fitter from here on out. That's a frightening thought, as he's pretty quick as it is. I'm also enjoying the self enforced OB pit stop that we take at the end of every big climb, which allows him (and importantly me) to catch our breath.
Today has been scenic, in a laid back rural French manner. It's an entirely different experience cycling in France, it's like being in a different country. The roads seem wider, there is much less traffic and it's all rather relaxing. The highlight was undoubtably a lunch stop in Camembert, laid on expertly by Theo. The rest of the day was spent rolling through idyllic French towns, sweeping fields of maize or corn, and generally just grinding the day out. The pace has been good so far and we've done a much better job of cycling as a trio or 'sucking Paul's tire off' and OB puts it.
We've just finished a lovely four course dinner in Alencon, in a restaurant almost entirely populated by Brits. God bless Paul though, who confidently took the French menu. This act of bravado ended up with the waiter sitting down next to him translating the menu dish by dish, then his third course being entirely skipped. 'Un Petit Peu' indeed.
Other notable moments -
OB booking us two rooms with double beds, which wasn't how I expected to spend my Friday night! Thankfully we've sweet talked our way into two extra rooms.
Me accusing Theo of defiling our room. Until I realised he'd bought me 6 wheels of Camembert.
Lots and lots of talk about how people's cycle shorts were leaving their equipment in the wrong place.
OB complaining a lot about Paul overusing his big ring.
Paul spending so much of my day asking basic technological questions (he's also found Strava). It's like having Shailesh here.
Road kill count -
No discernible difference. Rabbit, fox, small birds and something that may have been a rat at some point.
Tomorrow we are heading to Trudie's place in Avoine, OB is extremely excited about the BBQ that awaits. Theo has an extensive wine shopping list, which will be a tremendous hardship for him. I'm just happy to get there in one place please. I should be quicker tomorrow as I don't need to follow the Ashes. Two Corinthian wins would pep up my ride please.
Hopefully we'll get some photos up tomorrow. Blogger is very backwards and even worse on the phone. Proper wifi awaits tomorrow I think...
Thursday, 30 July 2015
London to Portsmouth
London to Portsmouth - 91 miles done.
I'm lying on the bottom bunk of tiny cabin on a ferry which is about to depart Portsmouth. I'm surrounded by a frightening amount of nakedness. Thankfully we've managed to force Paul togo to the bathroom to apply his Sudacream. My pregnant wife is sat at home alone (with my cats). How has my life come to this?
Today has taken us past the following notable sites -
Marc Bolan's memorial (a nice reminder when you go out your own stupid journey)
Richmond Park - pretty, but we got lost trying to find it and added 5 miles to our journey
Goodwood Racecourse - where we went down a closed road and ended up getting a security escort past the main enclosure past all of the 'totty'
Fratton Park - we could just about see this. Still a dump.
Roadkill count - two hedgehogs, a beautiful (but dead) pheasant, a deer, some foxes.
Quotes of the day -
'Are you ready for this? Going jnto a bunch of blokes with our tits out?' - By a pair of girls on our departure from Gunwharf Quays. Not sure it was aimed at us.
'Anyone want some Sudacream?' - Paul, again.
It's been a tough day. The ride down to lunch was pretty enjoyable, we did 51 miles to Wisborough Green at 14mph. The fact that ended up with 91 miles at 12.8mph tells you how tough the last 40 miles were. Duncton Hill was a particular lowlight. Although as I did the whole climb in one hit, I feel pretty chuffed. Even more so as both Brian and Paul walked up it.
Our ferry is about to depart and naked Theo has returned. He's in the top bunk and is now climbing above me. Thank Christ he's got new pants on.
By the time we wake up we'll be in French waters and preparing for 85 miles or so. I wouldn't say spirits are high, but nobody has fallen apart (or fallen off) yet.
Until tomorrow...
I'm lying on the bottom bunk of tiny cabin on a ferry which is about to depart Portsmouth. I'm surrounded by a frightening amount of nakedness. Thankfully we've managed to force Paul togo to the bathroom to apply his Sudacream. My pregnant wife is sat at home alone (with my cats). How has my life come to this?
Today has taken us past the following notable sites -
Marc Bolan's memorial (a nice reminder when you go out your own stupid journey)
Richmond Park - pretty, but we got lost trying to find it and added 5 miles to our journey
Goodwood Racecourse - where we went down a closed road and ended up getting a security escort past the main enclosure past all of the 'totty'
Fratton Park - we could just about see this. Still a dump.
Roadkill count - two hedgehogs, a beautiful (but dead) pheasant, a deer, some foxes.
Quotes of the day -
'Are you ready for this? Going jnto a bunch of blokes with our tits out?' - By a pair of girls on our departure from Gunwharf Quays. Not sure it was aimed at us.
'Anyone want some Sudacream?' - Paul, again.
It's been a tough day. The ride down to lunch was pretty enjoyable, we did 51 miles to Wisborough Green at 14mph. The fact that ended up with 91 miles at 12.8mph tells you how tough the last 40 miles were. Duncton Hill was a particular lowlight. Although as I did the whole climb in one hit, I feel pretty chuffed. Even more so as both Brian and Paul walked up it.
Our ferry is about to depart and naked Theo has returned. He's in the top bunk and is now climbing above me. Thank Christ he's got new pants on.
By the time we wake up we'll be in French waters and preparing for 85 miles or so. I wouldn't say spirits are high, but nobody has fallen apart (or fallen off) yet.
Until tomorrow...
Monday, 27 July 2015
Thursday, 23 July 2015
T-6
It's nearly time to depart. This time next week, we'll be most of the way to Portsmouth.
Training is going... okay.
Old Brian is presumably still cantering around Waltham Forest.
Paul has done 20 miles on the bike and thinks everything's rosy. (Genuinely, this is the limit of his training. He thinks he'll be fine because he's done a lot of running)
Tall Brian has actually done quite a lot of training... but is preparing for parenthood by piling on the sympathy fat and is somewhere around 108kg at the moment. So that'll be fun to haul up the mountains.
The route is finally locked in, despite Tall Brian having found an error in Old B and Paul's plans. Namely that we had one too few days of cycling and were arriving in Barcelona on the Friday rather than Saturday.
In brief -
Old Brian's routes don't necessarily tie into the Strava maps, but I'm not going to manually change them. Click the day to see the route in Strava. For some reason Blogger formats the links in grey, but I'm not working out how to change that.
Training is going... okay.
Old Brian is presumably still cantering around Waltham Forest.
Paul has done 20 miles on the bike and thinks everything's rosy. (Genuinely, this is the limit of his training. He thinks he'll be fine because he's done a lot of running)
Tall Brian has actually done quite a lot of training... but is preparing for parenthood by piling on the sympathy fat and is somewhere around 108kg at the moment. So that'll be fun to haul up the mountains.
The route is finally locked in, despite Tall Brian having found an error in Old B and Paul's plans. Namely that we had one too few days of cycling and were arriving in Barcelona on the Friday rather than Saturday.
In brief -
LONDON TO BARCELONA
Old Brian's routes don't necessarily tie into the Strava maps, but I'm not going to manually change them. Click the day to see the route in Strava. For some reason Blogger formats the links in grey, but I'm not working out how to change that.
Cycle to Portsmouthwhile Theo drives. Ferry overnight Portsmouth toCaen.
Drive out of Caen.Start on D580 – D579 – Vimoutiers D979 – D438 – D738 – D438
D438 – D338 – D1475 (Le Mans S) – D307 – D767 – D207 – D58 – D352 – Bourgueuil– D7(D749) to Avoine
D759 – D347 – D910 to Poitiers– D162 – D88 – D741 – D1 – D159
D26 – D15 – D6 – D205 –D33 –D699 to Prazac – D106 D939 – D12– D708 – D709 at Riberac
Up to Mont-Louis where we stop.
Running alongside E9 on the C1411. This might be tricky.
Sun 9 Aug. Fly back home.
Wednesday, 10 June 2015
Getting nearer
The quantity of updates is directly proportional to the amount of training being done. Zero.
Congratulations to Paul, or "Middle Idiot" as he will henceforth be known, who completed the Stockholm Marathon earlier this month. This means no more running stories. Middle Idiot completed the marathon in 3.53.05.
He had been aiming for under 3.45.00 but was hampered by it being a bit wet and him feeling a little bit poorly.
A marathon is 26.2 miles long. MI lost 8 minutes over that distance.
It is approximately 900 miles to Barcelona.
If the weather is poor and MI has a bit of a sniffle, then it's going to take him 274.8 additional minutes to do the trip.
Congratulations to Paul, or "Middle Idiot" as he will henceforth be known, who completed the Stockholm Marathon earlier this month. This means no more running stories. Middle Idiot completed the marathon in 3.53.05.
He had been aiming for under 3.45.00 but was hampered by it being a bit wet and him feeling a little bit poorly.
A marathon is 26.2 miles long. MI lost 8 minutes over that distance.
It is approximately 900 miles to Barcelona.
If the weather is poor and MI has a bit of a sniffle, then it's going to take him 274.8 additional minutes to do the trip.
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